Rapport Technologies

Average Read Time:  3:15

.

You can download this article as a Pdf  Here

Asking somebody if they have the time and then interrupting this pattern verbally by continuing the sentence so that it is no longer a request for the time, but a request to see if the person has enough time to do something, affords you the opportunity to embed some useful ideas; with this we can also evoke reciprocity and offer the opportunity to collect some useful information at the same time.

.

But first let’s discus the ‘pattern interrupt’ and a use for it in rapport building. Simply put a pattern interrupt is the act of interrupting a behavioural Pattern. As humans we learn lots of patterns of behaviour, some of them useful some of them not so useful. If you ask somebody “Have you got the time?” unless they are in a very deep hypnotic trance they will not answer that closed ended question as it logically makes sense to do so; with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, instead they will invariably interpret the question you asked as a request to supply further information i.e. the time. Rather than saying yes the person will look at their wristwatch, interpret the numbers or digits, and supply the answer to a question not asked.

.

If while saying “Hello pleased to meet you” you extend your right hand out in a fashion commonly associated with a handshake, the other person without, any conscious thought, will extend their hand with the intention of engaging in a single unit of behaviour also, that is, they will expect their hand to meet with yours, grasp it, shake it up and down and then release it before overstepping the boundaries of social etiquette involved with touching another human being. It is these kind of behavioural patterns that if interrupted part way through leave the mind open to suggestion, temporarily it is tripped up as the unconscious pattern has been stopped part way through, leaving you to supply an alternative resolution to the pattern.

.

The ‘handshake interrupt’ made famous by Dr Richard Bandler the creative genius of N.L.P, whereby a person’s hand is then taken in your left hand and raised with the instructions for them to ‘look at their palm and notice the changing focus of their eyes as they close them and go deep inside’ is useful in many situations like: seminars, therapy setting and in the performance arena etc. however a handshake may be interrupted in a more subtle fashion by the activity of not shaking it. Consider merely grasping the hand and drawing it slightly towards you, maybe touching the back of the other person’s hand with your left hand also, whilst supplying an embedded command, for example:

.

“Like me I’m sure you want to get the most out of this meeting today…”

.

In the following example we will use the pattern interrupt and embedded commands to evoke reciprocity and collect some useful information.

.

“Have you got the time…? To accept my offer of a gift for you, by just going to my website, filling in your details and you will receive the free download (or the CD/DVD through the post).”

.

By continuing the sentence after a short pause, just long enough for them to have started the process of engaging in a single unit of behaviour you interrupt their pattern as they realise you are not asking for the time of day. Embedding the command ‘accept my offer’, whilst also anchoring it kinaesthetically and/or visually, if appropriate, will give you a useful tool later, when you may indeed wish to have the person accept your offer.

.

Also by the action of giving a gift you are invoking the first rule of reciprocity as defined by Dr Robert Cialdini. It is accepted by sociologists and anthropologists the world over that a person or group of people will normally repay to a larger extent than that which was given or indeed offered to them. This can be most commonly seen in the act of giving gifts at birthday or other occasions, people feel bad when they have even just forgotten to send a card to somebody who sent one to them. When somebody else buys you dinner or a present you feel obliged to reciprocate the favour. This is even true when all that has been offered to you, (even uninvited) is a discount.

.

The ‘rejection then retreat technique’ used by salesmen is a prime example of this, first they start at a high price only to reduce it “specially for you, just for today because…”, to you, this makes you feel like they have given you something and as a result you become more likely to give then something, i.e. the price that they were after all along!

.

Also, you capture the email address of an interested, potential client for future free advertising. To the savvy Internet marketer this information is worth the time in creating a free download or CD/DVD to send out.

.

With this one action you have: embedded a command and anchored it. Evoked reciprocity and collected a potential customers contact details.

.

Finally, if when your beguiled fellow human is looking down at his/her watch (provided they have the watch on thier left hand), you use the same intonation pattern that they use in talking when embedding the command, ‘accept my offer’, it will sound to their unconscious mind very much like their own internal dialogue. It was one of Richard Bandlers most famous first discoveries back in the 1970’s that people look down and to their left when talking to themselves (along with his discoveries about the other internal accessing of information that is done by looking in different locations). To them it’s almost like you are their internal dialogue.

.

You can download this article in Pdf form as a gift… and give it to anyone you think will benefit from the content as long as the text and links remain unchanged. This will then be an example of reciprocity in action!